Great Idea

Conversation 1:
Daz: Oi, Markie boy. I got a great idea, we are going to make millions. Gonna be like pigs in shit bruv. We open a new bar on London Bridge, all the city boys will luv it.
Mark: Fucking hell. Thats a great idea. Lets do it. What about calling it Dizzy's?
Daz: Yeah. I like it. Sounds fun and a bit like a sexy bird thats stupid.

[6 months pass]

Conversation 2:
Conrad: Say, Paul, are you going for a drink after we close the deal to wipe all the money and western civilization off the face of the earth?
Paul: Sounds good to me. Where are you going?
Conrad: Dizzy's Bar, it's grand.
Paul: Disease Bar? It sounds fucking rank, what type of cunt would call a bar that?

Give a little bit

Quite right, the happy-go-lucky tarts who present these Bullshit Phone-in competetitions have been all 'Take, Take, Take' for too long.

I'm with this guy; if I'm spending £2 per minute on a phone call I want a little more than just 'a chance of winning a Nintendo DS'. I want the girl in the studio to actually leave her job immediately, take a cheuffeur driven limo to my house (however far away it is), come into my house and give me some Head.

Or at least to look like a completely broken soul when I ask her this.

Punters say the funniest things

PunterNet UK is a lovely place where sordid tawdry little men can go and exchange reviews of their experiences with escorts, hookers and massasge parlours. It is crushingly grim, but also mind bendingly fascinating.There were, at the time of my writing this, 83925 'field reports' - these are where the fun is at. This: "I really enjoyed my time with Sophia. After an incredible back massage(those long nails are so teasing) I turned over and it wasn’t long before she had me in her mouth uncovered which was great to experience again after such a long time" is about Sophia of Oswestry.

Dogs Dicks

really are horrible. Truly terrifying.

I presumed everyone would feel the same, but apparently alot more people are into it than i thought. this website is full of things you'd probably rather you never saw. the best part is when it describes a girl who fucked a dog - choosing the moment she got her fanny pierced to illustrate her lust for all things extreme... Sorry, but fucking a dog is ALOT more extreme than any piercing.