Birthday Shoes.com

Is a site dedicated to these godawful creations that make Nike Rifts look conservative. They are marketed as an alternative to shoes, that will enhance your life by strengthening your legs and lots of other bullshit. I guess they probably come in a package with khaki 3/4 length combat trousers. Oh, and they will make you look like a prick. As if to purposefully ruin their own credibility, Time Magazine awarded them the title of One of the Best Inventions of 2007. Must have been a pretty slow year for inventions.



In a bid to show that idiots are not afraid to be publicly humiliated, those who have been unfortunate enough to buy the 'Vibram 5 Fingers' continually post pictures of themselves (often including their faces) wearing the things on the site. You couldn't make it up. This is one of the few guys clever enough to hide avoid showing his face in the picture, but sums up the creative level of smugness these people enjoy with their rejection of cultural 'norms'.



"Stimulating the muscles in your feet and lower legs will not only make you stronger and healthier, it improves your balance, agility and proprioception." Bullshit. These are nothing but a thick pair of socks which will leave you cold, miserable and unprotected in the rain. They have none of the advantages of shoes (padding, air bubbles, looking good, not hurting when people stand on your toes...), and instead only go to show the world how gullible you are. Shoes have become a staple element of clothing for hundreds of years because, quite simply, they work. It might not be glamourous, but they 'do the job'. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, etc, etc... There's no good reason to change anything about them. That these things were invented at all, and were one of the best inventions of recent times, is a truly depressing fact. I think Thomas Pynchon would point to this as evidence of cultural entropy.

Oh, and they are definitely not to be confused with Deano's birthday shoes. You'll only ever see these on one guy, once a year.