Sunday, 30 November 2008

Good music blog heads up -

I've just spent the last few hours filling the gaps in my noise rock/weird rock music/Melvins collection (turns out there was a lot of gaps) by downloading some albums from here. It's a pretty comprehensive overview of that stuff, with reviews/explanations etc. The best bit is it's all uploaded onto Mediafire, which means you can download lots of stuff at the same time without having to queue things up, why don't all music blogs use Mediafire? Rapidshare is a pain in the arse.

Happy Monday fellaz.

Friday, 28 November 2008



The benevolent genius who gave us a tonne of incredible music has started collecting amazingly odd images on his new site. These are PERFECT for AIMing to people at work or ripping off for flyers. Which i plan to do pretty soon.




JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. it has been a long time since i read a book this quickly. Not since i did King Solomon's Mines in one day, which on a more recent perusing I noted to be full of a really quite ballsy level of racism.
It is all about a man called Edward Paisnel, a family man from Jersey who turned out to be responsible for 11 years of sex attacks and murders. Andy lent it to me. The best part is that he was obsessed with black magic and the occult. The second best part is that he wore a terrifying outfit to commit his crimes (often on kids). The third best bit is that it is written by his wife who was totally oblivious. The cover is pretty rad too...


He told me not to show anyone this but fuck it.

Bent Car

This car is bent.


This guy bowled up outside a Rancid show last week to show the kids what rock and roll really was by playing Jailhouse Rock loudly out the back of his car and being really friendly and a really good sport. Doesn't he look like Meatloaf? Meatloaf always comes off as totally in on the joke when he does interviews, I always think he seems like a nice guy. Also, the numberplate is funny, but I don't really get why he souped up a Peugout when he could have just got a Cadillac?

PS I went to the Rancid show, what of it?

Street Sharks

Were these cool or were they the result of extensive, soulless market research/ninja turtle ripoffs? I can't decide? They said 'jawsome' instead of 'awesome' apparently. I was a little too old for these when they came out but I remember wishing that I wasn't. (Thanks to Will Hutson for always having so much jokes stuff in his house)

Get Loose

Have a good weekend everyone. If you have to drink cold Lucozade in a warm bath to recover, then you know you've had a great time.

Poo Doodie

Hahahahahahahaha. Look at his gay little silver shoes.

Thursday, 27 November 2008

Excel Art

Don't get me wrong I get as bored at work as the next guy, but this person must literally have the worse job in the world if the best thing they can do is sit around all day making this shit.

According to the website "These drawings are a part of a series of sixty drawings that I executed (more or less) every day for fifty-eight days." FIFTY-EIGHT DAYS? So you spend 2 months fucking about using excel as a colouring book and you got it published? Jeez.

Now you can choose to either watch a video of this or a monkey 'cleaning his rifle'. I know which I'd choose.



Best halloween costume evz. better photo

See what he did? In the dark you can barely see his other leg. Clever.

Wednesday, 26 November 2008

Yoo - Hoo?!!!

I recently found myself in the situation of referencing 'the gay handkerchief code' as if it was the most basic part of common knowledge there is. Not only did I quickly find out that no one knew what the fuck I was talking about, but also that I didn't really know much more than what I'd read on Popbitch once about someone from Ultravox or something inadvertantly getting pissed on in a club because of his visible hanky.

This website is certainly one of the most conclusive dictionaries of hanky ettiquette I've ever come across (no pun intended - lol!!).

Turns out when people describe gays as being "good with colours", they really mean it. Who can tell the difference between orange, apricot, coral and gold lame in a dark club?? I suppose when it's the difference between telling the world you're not interested in any attention, or having a fat guy sit on your face, you'd probably learn pretty quickly.

The main thing to learn from this is never to wear a dark red hanky on your right side, unless you really want some guy to ram two fists up your arsehole.

Thursday Night = Pool Night

If you're the kind of person who likes to play pool and drink a couple of brewskis while listening to 90's music (mostly hip hop) then you sound exactly like most people. It does mean, however, that you probably will enjoy Knowledge God at the Macbeth on Hoxton Street on Thursday night (tomorrow).

Tuesday, 25 November 2008

A proper record review

400th Post!!

I'm not sure 400 is really a landmark anywhere, for anything, but at least it's a round number... Unlike 21. Why celebrate that as a major birthday??

Anyways, if you're the kind of person who has friends, maybe sometimes have friends over to your flat, and who quite often worries what music to play that everyone'll enjoy; you could do a lot worse than download this mix from here. Problem solved. It also has a tracklisting which is great, as I hadn't heard quite a few of the songs before and it put me on to some really gay stuff like this:

The Flirts - Calling all Boys (Right-click to download)

Monday, 24 November 2008

Gary Puckett

What the fuck is up with this guy? Ok, so you like young girls; we get it.

Young Girl

This Girl is a Woman Now

I think Young Girl is about him warning a young girl to run away from him because she's made him really horny and the fact he's still fiedning to get in her drawers is turning into a bit of a headfuck for him. He can't really trust himself, and it makes the song really cool, because they still play it on Radio 2 and stuff. It's the second song that worries me a little, where "she finds out what it's all about"... Oh no Gary!! Any one else reckon he realy regretted turning down the young girl in the first song and totally went to bonesville with the next young girl he could find?


I'm pretty certain I'm just being slow on the uptake here, but I heard a Radio stream Ronojoy did on the internet a few months ago, and there was one song that completely blew my mind. It was labeled 'Closer - Closer' and i couldn't find anything else out on it (have you ever tried googling just the same word repeated?? impossible).

Anyway, Ted played it on Saturday night at Ronojoy's party and although I'm sure he just made up the artist and title to get rid of me ("I don't know, 'I need your lovin?'") i managed to find it on the internet tonight. Real happy with how this has worked out. Oh, and if you want to read some stuff about this, have a look here.

Pineapples: Come on Closer (Right-click to download)

Sunday, 23 November 2008

Mole slippers

I never really know what to ask for at Christmas time. This year, I
have a feeling things are going to be different.

Saturday, 22 November 2008

Shit production values...

...brilliant video

What has stock footage of ostriches got to do with anything at all? But look at them dance, no one dances like that anymore.

Oi, Bandage! Up Yours!

My housemate is a recording artist and she sometimes records in studios that other recording artists have been recording in immediately before her. Just recently she was putting the finishing touches to something or other at a studio where a popular "dance-rock" act had been doing the same thing and she noticed lots of scissors and bandages lying around the place. She asked someone what it was, and apparently the bandages are these new army issue morphine soaked things that get you totally high if you put them on, but then as soon as you take them off you stop being high immediately with no comedown. This is surely the perfect drug. You could drive to the woods, stick your bandage on and have a lovely dreamy time with your buddies and feel like you're in a big hug etc etc and then take it off, get back in the car, drive back to town and get straight on with the brain surgery/criminal defence/childcare or whatever it is you need to do sober to get paid. I'd be willing to break my four months of sobriety to try this out, if anyone wants to get hold of some for me.

Rustling & Branding

Thursday, 20 November 2008

Poppers are the BEST

Considering that most drugs that are 'really cool' like Coke and MDMA (which are actually really boring), are completely socially acceptable, it's pretty fucked up that Poppers (which are legal) and an amazing addition to any night out, are entirely UNacceptable, unless you're 14 and you're also having your first ever cigarette.

Coke is the most predictable drug in the world. It's so fucking dull. Any night out taking coke always ends up the same way, having a really 'deep' conversation with someone you don't like at 6am; listening to how much they love their parents. All the while, having a really intense need to talk, but wanting to be anywhere else in the world. And you have to pay £40-50 quid for it. No thanks.

The same with MDMA. Sure, you'll dance loads, and then either talk to no one staring at the DJ, or sit down to talk to any stranger who comes near. But you know you're going to end up at a stranger's house waiitng for someone to produce more drugs, or at least a spliff so you can get to sleep. And when you go to take a piss you'll get really freaked out that your dick has turned into a fleshy clitoris, worrying it might never return to normal.

Poppers however... are so much fun you'll end up charging around saying things like "I've forgotten how weird they make you feel! ha ha ha!!", and you can take as much as you want, safe in the knowledge you'll fee fine the next day. Good bye MonDMA-Days!!

Just look how much fun this guy is having!

Choc-o-cock : what-the-fuck?

Ok, call me a square or whatever, but some one give me a hand with this one. Do you fuck your girlfriend with a slowly melting chocolate imitation of your gnarled cock, eat the facsimile of your phallus and then have nothing to fuck with, or do your stick it in quickly then eat the soiled sweet? Really – who the fuck needs to do this sort of thing in their lives?

Tuesday, 18 November 2008

Teenage girls ain't so bad

My housemate, who was once a teenage girl herself apparently, was annoyed about what I said before about them being mean and stuff, which I suppose was a generalisation. She cites this as a perfect example of how they can be really great and understanding.

She is the only one of the family who is totally accepting of her lesbian aunt, which is commendable.


The BBC says so, and they never lie. There are 6KM LONG LOCUSTS ravaging australia. Where will they strike next?!

p.s. thanks you for this Lynsey.