Monday, 21 December 2009

That's why mums go to Iceland!

Thank you to Alison for pointing out that you can buy your whole Christmas dinner from Iceland for £16.

It's a cracking deal.

Good work to Matt, who pointed out the irony that Iceland is meant for 'Busy Mums'. When any mum who does the majority of her shopping is probably not going to be very busy at all.

Good work for me to pointing out that they hit the nail on the head by appointing Kerry Katona, the trashiest mum in the world, to represent their brand across all media fronts.

And can anyone confirm that Iceland sell frozen sandwiches so that 'busy mums' can give their kid a good lunch at school?

Pa Rappa The Rappa

Is the phrase 'kick, punch, it's all in the mind' from something before this game?? i'm sure i heard someone say it a couple of weeks ago as if it was a really famous phrase, like from Karate Kid or something. No shit, I've had this little rap going round inside my head on and off for like 10 years now.

Friday, 11 December 2009

Best Email I've ever had on a Friday Morning

"last night, right. something very weird happened. I must have sleep walked. The first thing I remember is being on the top floor of xxxxx. In just my white pants

I had no idea what was going on. I freaked out and walked up and down the stairs. I thought that maybe I had been in another flat so i walked around all the other doors seeing if any of them were open (at this point i was still in a wierd trance). then i really got worried and cold and tried throwing rubbish out of the window in the hallway at matts window to wake him up to let me in to the flat but this didnt work. then i banged on our door for ages but nobody came to let me in.

then i walked up to the top floor again just because i knew no one would come up there. i found some cardboard boxes and some bubble rap and put them over me to keep warm. I had absolutely no idea what to do.

then i pissed in an empty bottle on the top floor cos i was desperate and it over flowed so i caught the rest in the mop bucket.

then i got really cold and walked down to ours again and banged on the door even harder (it was really hard to bang on the door loudly though cos i didnt want next door to come out and see me locked out in my pants. still no one came to let me in.

i was out of ideas. so i walked down to the bottom floor, trying to find some items of clothing somewhere so i could knock on someone elses door.
then i realised i could just buzz on our door and they'd let me in. (cant believe that i didnt think of this any earlier. i must have been in a real weird sleep trance) but still no one answered and i had to buzz for ages. And its so loud outside. i was so so woried that someone would look out of one of the groundfloor windows and I'm sure someone probably did.

then mickey let me in.

probably the strangest thing thats ever happend to me."

Monday, 5 October 2009

Seven Alternate Ending

Dude, I was alive in 1994

and i can remember it definitely did not look like as much like 1985 as this:

But then, I guess that's the difference between New Jersey and Kent. This film looks incredible, if only for the chance to see the woman talk about her 'Cheque to Cash' on a big screen. Thank you Meghan.

Oh, and while I'm at it:

Ignore the first 20 seconds or so. The rest is nowhere near as lame. Thanks again, Meghan.

Friday, 25 September 2009

It was Supposed to be So Easy...

For some reason throwing up a few snide comments about stuff has become too difficult for us to manage recently, and the blog has been neglected. We'll try rectify it, but fact is, like all talented groups, our creativity cannot be contained in just one blog.

Blogging has been pretty slow on Noodles recently, but be warned that this may continue to be the case as we each pursue our own artistic projects over the next few months (before our dreams fall apart and we end up back in jobs we hate, and have loads of time on our hands to post shit on here again).

Bob, always the Charlie of our 'Busted' group, has decided to set up his own Fightstarr of a blog Completely Adorable. It looks pretty good so far, so check it out.

I, as the misunderstood talent behind much of the output, will continue plugging away, a la James from Busted. I have a side project of my own which I have woefully neglected, and as such rendered it pretty much useless. Meant to be a blog of my escapades travelling from coast to coast in America, it looks set to forever be a 'work in progress'. It's called StarsAndShites and is waaaay out of date already...

The metaphor falls apart here because Busted only has one more member, Matt. He did pretty well in boning and marrying MTV hottie, Emma Griffiths but both her and Matt's careers have been in freefall since, so let's just hope that neither Matt nor Bruno follow suit. Here's a really airbrushed picture of her:

And to make the title of this post make sense, here is a video some kid made for the Streets song: 'it was supposed to be so easy':

Monday, 10 August 2009


I saw a guy with that crucified skinhead tattoo on the train last week. He had it on the back of his head and looked pretty cool.

Thursday, 23 July 2009

A Bird Just Flew

into the window I'm sat right in front of. And I'm pretty sure it died. You might be able to make out it's little bird corpse in the middle of this picture. I'm actually quite shaken up.

(For the purposes of scale it's worth pointing out that is a gravelly rooftop it is lying on, not a rocky mountainous landscape)

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Political movement for making our flag less pussyish

LOOK at all these babies. Why can't we get some stabby or gunny things on our flag? I want some, big time...


Where the cult of celebrity meets the natural progrsion of fine art

Everyone knows who Ross Kemp is. He is the loughavable yet tough and withdrawn hero of Ultimate Force, ITV's best SAS based drama. Well, some bright young things have worked out that his head, almost featureless in most respects apart form the essentials, makes an excelent subject for comical folding. I know it sounds like I am being sarky, but it's jsut my general tone, becasue I am a dickhead. But some of these are absolutely brilliant:

World's most depressing blog

For my work I spend a fair bit of time looking at horribly upsetting photos. From injured children in war zones, to mortally dependent old alchies and junkies, to child prostitutes and poverty stricken illegal immigrants. I am not saying these things aren't terrible and upsetting, they are, but they don't make me want to cry quite as much as some of the things on this blog. My buddy Pegs showed it to me today. This has to be the most crushingly desperate 'tips' i have ever seen, I am off to work out a way I can garuntee being able to afford high class mints for the rest of my life...


This has to hands down be the worst thing that anybody has ever ever tried to sell.

A fucking PUZZLE of Matthew Upson. How has this happened? Who would spend £14.99 on this? Surely people do puzzles of landscapes or baked beans?

Look at the description:

Matthew Upson portrait prior to kick off. England v Liechtenstein, Old Trafford, Manchester 10/09/2003, Euro 2004 qualifier.
Liechtenstein? Fucking Liechtenstein? This is to commemorate a match where England struggled to beat a minnow 2-0? A match used to test whether James Beattie was good enough to play for England?
And Matthew fucking Upson? What next a Chris Powell commemorative plate to mark England's 2-1 win against Finland at Anfield in 2001?

Licensed Manchester United Merchandise - wtf? This is getting really confusing.

300 Piece Jigsaw Puzzle measuring approximately 17x12 inches (43x30cm), includes a free 7x5 (17x12 cm) photograph and a re-sealable bag (Not Boxed). Estimated image size 432x305mm.
Hang on so if somebody does for some unknown reason decide that they want to part with 15 quid for this they don't even get it in a box?? How is this a real thing?


Tuesday, 21 July 2009

Roots of Led Zeppelin

Is a really good triple CD album, that isn't so much a background to Led Zep, more a collection of influential pre-rock blues music. I found it on this blog, which is pretty great. Although the posts may be infrequent every single album is a real must-have.

Disc 1

Disc 2

Disc 3

Oh, and don't be such a bitch about it being on Rapidshare, just get an account - it's the best.

Friday, 17 July 2009

So it seems

those pervy shots that the Arab Parrot is so popular for (see here and here), might not be kosher after all...

Here he is hitting worldwide media for trying it out on Paris Hilton and invading her privacy...

Looks like he's got good taste in doing it with an Olympus mju ii though.

"Us?? Haha, no... We're not Fascists!"

"...We just hate immigrants and want to kick them out".

So say Gaetano Saya of the Italian National Guard.

Anyone else think that their logo is bascially just dozens of swastikas stuck together?? Anyway, this is the uniform they want to wear to patrol Italian streets as a kind of souped-up Neighbourhood Watch scheme.

Like most people, I'm pretty hazy around my definitions of what Fascism actually is. But from what I gather, it has a pretty bad reputation. It's come to be a by-word for 'Racist mass murderer', but I have a friend who insists that Fascism has been totally exploited from it's original intension, and it really isn't a bad thing at all. There must be something nasty about the word, because anyone labelled with it is very quick to deny any link to Fascism, when the rest of the world is equally as quick to insist thet they are Fascist. It's all so confusing.

Regardless of what Fascists may or may not want to do, and who they may or may not want to kill, I think there's one thing we can all agree on. And that's that if the Fascists of the past got one thing right, it was their fashion and sense of style. It was absolutly spot on and truly timeless. Just check these out for some pretty amazing examples of fascist architecture:

Although they lost the Second World War, the German's would have won the battle of the catwalk. With natty little numbers by Hugo Boss, the enthnically biased boys from Berlin looked every inch the rulers of a Bavarian dominated globe.

Dashing stuff indeed. So perhaps there is something worth remembering about Fascism and reviving?

For those of you who are keen to recreate the past 'glory days' where Fascism (or whatever you like to call it) didn't need to be denied, simply visit this, frankly unbelievable, website where you can buy reproduction uniforms and camo gear. It's all good stuff, dear.

Indeed, any budding Max Mosley sexual deviant out there who want to 'relive' the experience of being dragged to a gas chamber to get their rocks off can bring a bit of added realism to the situation with this reproduction cannister of Zyklon B. A touch pricey at $50, but you pay for quality these days.

You can even sip your tea out of a Zyklon B designed mug:

In fact, that website is so fucking bizzare you could spend all day on it discovering sinful gifts of hate that you probably thought had been exterminated 60 years ago.

Have fun!!