Thursday, 5 March 2009


I was walking down the lane
And I felt a funny pain

so I went behind a bush
and it came out in a rush

When you're waiting with your mum it come out ya* bum Diarrhoea Diarrhoea

When you're running up the stairs it comes out yer flares Diarrhoea Diarrhoea

It comes down your legs like 2 sweaty eggs Diarrhoea Diarrhoea

It comes out your bum like pedigree chum Diarrhoea Diarrhoea.

It shoots out your bum like a bullet from a gun Diarrhoea Diarrhoea.

When you come into your home and your pants are full of foam Diarrhoea Diarrhoea.

I was running in a race
and I felt some on my face

I was sitting in a tree
And it trickled on my knee

When you're sliding into first and you feel something burst Diarrhoea Diarrhoea

When you're sliding into second and your shorts are fuller than you've reckoned Diarrhoea Diarrhoea

When you're sliding into third and you feel that gushy turd Diarrhoea Diarrhoea

When you're sliding into home and you feel the warm foam Diarrhoea Diarrhoea

It's thin, it's runny and it isn't very funny Diarrhoea Diarrhoea.

It's thin and it's brown and can happen to a clown Diarrhoea Diarrhoea.

When you're driving in your Chevy and your pants are getting heavy Diarrhoea Diarrhoea.

When you're driving in your Ford and your pants are fulla turd Diarrhoea Diarrhoea.

I was walking in the attic and my bum went automatic Diarrhoea Diarrhoea.

When yer lyin in yer bed and its runnin down yer leg Diarrhoea Diarrhoea.

You can cook it in a pot, you can serve it while its hot Diarrhoea Diarrhoea.

When you're sittin' on a cushion and you really feel it pushin'

People say it's gross, but it's really nice on toast Diarrhoea Diarrhoea

No pain, no strain, just sit and let it drain Diarrhoea Diarrhoea

I was sitting in my class
When it came out of my arse

Teacher wasn't in
So I did it in the bin

When she got back
I got a big slap

I was climbing up a mountain
When it came out like a fountain

Playing at the fair
And I felt a rush of air


Bruce La Vrai said...

i think you are loosing it...

LOIS, PHHT said...

best blog post ever, seriously

louise said...

Am I supposed to be singing this to the tune of that comic relief saturdays song ? Cos I am.

alex said...

i was sitting on the bus but i couldnt make a fuss

Anonymous said...

I was running in a race and I felt some on my FACE!!!

Anonymous said...

This a Vandals song.

BeckyHew said...

OMG we used to sing this when I was at school!!
Everyone at work loved this
Thanks for making my day :)