Friday, 20 March 2009
Erection Selection Mix
To paraphrase ABBA in Knowing Me, Knowing You... "making love is never easy, i know.."
So to help you guys make the most of the springtime vibe out there at the moment, we've decided to make a mix that will guarantee that should you manage to bring a girl back to your room... well, let's just say you'd better have enough breakfast ingredients for two. Oh yeah!!
Prince – Erotic City
This is to put the idea out there early. Sexy, freaky, bubblin’… O’Real likes to kick things off with this…
Plastic Bertrand – Stop Ou Encore
Ladies love French accents. This’ll give her a talking-point and make sure she thinks you’re super intelligent. Bonne chance!
Wang Chung – Dance Hall Days
Slightly dancey, this one’ll get her swaying her hips, and help build up the sexual tension in the room.
The Hollies – Another Night
Another slowy, but not too slow, and importantly… not too sexy. This is to throw her off the scent. Pretty innocent songs. She’d never guess what you’ve got bubblin away in your mind!!
Steely Dan – FM
Ooh!! You smooth mother funker! Real fun-lovin’ stuff from Steely Dan. Hopefully you’ve been doing your part of the deal up ‘til now and keeping up some good conversation because the next few songs is where things start to get sensual…
LL Cool J ft. Total – Loungin’
If music is the food of love; R&B is the food of making love. The sexy rhythms kick off here. Lean in and drop the hand at this point if you haven’t already done so.
Yvette Michelle – Everynight Everyday
A little more up tempo, just to let her know you might be wanting to go to bed, but you aren’t wanting to go to sleep. Far from it Cowboy!!
Lil Kim – Crush on U (remix)
Playful, cute, this should encourage the to-ing and fro-ing which will surely be happening now.
Teddy Pendergrass – Close The Door
Enough of the R&B, a girl likes to be treated the old fashioned way. This smooth classic should show her you understand the old fashioned skill known as ‘love-making’
The Deele - Shoot em Up Movies
“Bang Bang, Gotcha!” – oh, yeah, shoot it up some more Cowboy!!
Heaven 17 – Temptation
Phew! That was starting to become slow and predictable, exactly what you don’t want to be. Spice up the situation with this steamy, saucy sound. You might also want to ignore/embrace the fact that it’s a gay anthem at this point.
Inner Circle – Sweat
She’ll be glad to hear you don’t take yourself too seriously when she hears this one, just make sure that if she cries out you push it, push it some more, too!!
Serge Gainsbourg – Bonnie and Clyde
Comedy in the bedroom can be useful, but you don’t want to be seen as a joke. This more romantic vibe should set you back on track. It’s all in French, so you don’t have to worry about what they’re saying, just be safe in the knowledge that you are skilled in the language of love. Play on, Play on...
Charme – Gorgy Porgy
If Luther Vandross’ voice alone brings you to climax, then hold your horses and pull out for a while. Otherwise, this 7 minute slice of downtempo disco will provide the perfect rhythm to bring you both off!!
The Charmells – As Long as I’ve Got You
For the rougher lovers out there, this Wu Tang sample will really bring out the C.R.E.A.M. in you!!
Gary Wright – Dream Weaver
You should comfortably be in the throes of ecstasy by this point, so the music is really becoming less and less important. All you want by this stage is a background while you make your own music (!!) so here it is.
Yazoo – Only You
Tender and sincere, just like you.
The Style Council – Long Hot Summer
If you have a cigarette, light that up, you’ll probably be through the home straight now, nothing to do but lie back and bask in this beautiful melody and make some small talk. Mission accomplished.