You wait for a post for a whole week, and then two come along at once. Except that it's not just two posts, but two posts stolen from the pages of the Daily Mail... What can I say, I've become really conservative since I left London for Kent.
Anyways, the Daily Mail website is a must-see every day because in amongst the 'normal' news stories they cover, they are also guaranteed to host some ludicrous excuse for a news story, just so that they can squeeze in some saucy pics of girls in bikinis. All still written in a 'Oh, lord, this is what other newspapers are writing about, so you'll need to know what all your trashy friends are talking about when you see them, but really this is kind of thing is abhorrent...' kind of way. They always include fairly racey pictures so that the olg fogies who subscribe to the shitsheet will get their kicks and continue to buy it.
For example, this story, which is basically just centred around a photo of Sonia from Eastenders riding a horse, only you can see a bit of unwanted cleavage... Or this story, which you're unlikely to see on the Channel 4 News.
The crux of the issue seems to be that a couple of girls (20 and 28) who act in soaps are wearing bikinis in a swimming pool. All urgent stuff, I'm sure you agree.
Anyway, Imagine the shock of a nation when millions of old men took to the Daily Mail to have a look at some lythe young flesh in action and were caught out by this article. Thankfully they have made care to dampen the arrousal by blurring out the faces of the girls involved, but it really is quite an odd concept that someone has come up with - to create a beauty contest for slutty 'tweenage' girls and then putting their full names, home towns, bra sizes, 'vital stats', and photos on the internet... Pretty fucking weird. Take this lass, 13 years old, and frighteningly looks to be in her mid 20s.
Maybe it's just a clever ruse by the paper to incriminate the pervy parts of its readership who are obviously then going to flick through the majority of the site... Best avoid it in case your name and mugshot appear on the front of tomorrow's issue.
And don't go bookmarking it for later, by the way.