Tuesday, 26 May 2009

I think it was time...

...to leave home a looooooong time ago.

When your mum looks like a poorly stitched sock puppet, and has paid £45k to look like it, you've got to start questioning her judgement.

If you didn't need more of a wake-up call to get your life in order, you could always pose for a picture in the Daily Mail where somehow, you look exactly like her. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!

If I were her, I'd salvage what I could to support a new life on the streets. I reckon her boobs must be about £5k each. You could slice both those puppies off in her sleep and leave home ten grand richer. Ta-Da! No more fear that you are rapidly following in the footsteps of the worst female icons ever.

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