Friday, 13 February 2009
MAKE SOME MOTHERFUCKING NOISE PRESTON!!
If ever there’s been someone who fits the epitaph of ‘a cunt’ it’s Paul Danan. The guy shows such dedication to being utterly unlikable in every way that it really is quite impressive. Just look at his face. Few would look at a newborn baby and think that it would have the ability to morph itself into a physical manifestation of a cunt, and I bet Mrs Danan didn’t think it either, but Paul managed it. Maybe it was a mistake, an inadvertent accident from pulling a silly face when the wind changed direction, but far more likely is that Paul saw the pure evil that lurked within him and couldn’t resist showing it to show it to the world – in his face, in his actions, in every horrible word he utters. What an achievement.
They say no publicity is bad publicity, but somehow Paul has managed nothing but that since he was thrust onto the screen in Hollyoaks. Besides the Celebrity Love Island incidents; where he struggled to avoid raping every girl that he saw, started on an ex-nightclub bouncer who would have clearly fucking battered him, and whining to Callum Best to ‘please make me a drink mate, oh go on’, my favourite thing he did was lose his pantomime job in Jack and the Beanstalk in Preston by turning up to turn on their Christmas lights and tell the 3,000 people who’d turned up to ‘Make Some Motherfucking Noise!!’ as if he’s Flava Flav.
What a fascinating man. I could watch him all day.