Thursday, 19 February 2009

Sheer Terror


Ever since watching Outbreak and Congo, two superb films, I have been a bit terrified of monkeys, or apes, whichever. My only two reference points for them are horrific hemorrhaging diseases or superhuman, violent strength. Everyone else seems to find them cute, like this lady who had a pet one called Travis she used to sleep with (non penetrative (at least I assume)), drink wine with, and kiss goodbye every day.
Anyway, this life long companion to the undoubtedly unfortunate lady, she is a widow and her daughter died, was all shits and giggles until recently.
Travis, the little scamp, tore her best friends fucking face off and ended up getting shot by the police. Bit of a slip up there. But what triggered the attack? Did the victim tread on his paw, slap him, tease him? No, she dyed her hair blond. How about this for an idea: don't have a potentially savage animal with huge teeth and a sensitive approach to hairdressing living in your house?
If you really want to freak yourself out you can listen to the 911 call . *shudder*

2 comments:

O'Real said...

i can cope with everything in that story apart from seeing that monkey's ball bag.

Spinal Brap said...

Dude on the phone's all Chief Wiggum about the situash. "Oh yeah, a monkey ate your friend's face. Mmm, sure, let me take down your details on my imaginary typewriter (you crazed bitch)"