Hangover + Top Gear = Perfect Day

For around a year now I have been going out on Friday and Saturday nights, and then spending the whole of the next day watch Top Gear on Dave. Despite having, at best, only a passing interest in cars, finding Jeremy Clarkson to be a wanker, and Hammond to be one of the most irksome excuses for a man I've ever come across, I frankly am just not getting bored of this routine.

Here's a few highlights of todays show - a real ripper.

Jeremy drove the new Ford Focus RS around the track. In typical fashion, he wasn;t very impressed to start off with, but that all changed... (pause for effect. Adopt gravelly voice) ... When he put his foot down..





The next bit is my favourite. The Cool Wall. I love that I would in no way look up to any of these guys in their opinions of what is 'Cool', nevermind what is 'Sub-Zero', however i still find myself agreeing with their reckonings on whether the new Porsche Carrera is really sick, or just makes you look like a nob (personally I think all Porsche's are pretty sub zero...).

Here Hammond tried to make a case for the Aston Martin DB9 being a car for footballers and therefore uncool. In a predictable fashion, Clarkson ripped the picture out of his hand and put it out of the reach of the little maggot. But not by putting it up too high for him to reach, he put it in the DB9s own fridge to show how cool it is. Fantastic.







You could see by this point that Hammond was getting pretty pissed off with Jeremy constantly rubbishing his ideas (it must be a real drain on his ego. Maybe that's why he's so clueless and wears those really bad childlike clothes - like blazers with badges and writing and pockets all over them, that are really too big for him anyway. I wish he could mature a little and take a leaf out of Jeremy's altogether far more conservative book. It would do him the world of good.)

So for the next car, a BMW M5, when Jeremy ripped it out of the Hamster's hands and put it on the Cool side of the wall, Hammond ran over picked it up and ran into the crowd. Jeremy chased him and they ended up wrestling on the floor in a heap. The guys who got tickets to go to the studio for that episode must have really lucked out to be there for such a memorable show. I bet some of them probably had a really good view of Jeremy and Hammond messing around on the floor. Brilliant once again, and exactly the kind of thing I want to be on a Saturday.





"And on that bombshell..."