Hey, shitty northern bastards.

In a shocking revelation from the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine (who we assume to be honest, and not trying to defame the North) today, it turns out that the views of bigoted Southerners have been confirmed. Statistically the amount of shit on peoples hands increases steadily the further north you go. Up in Newcastle 53% of men who were swabbed were shown to have human faeces on their grubby hands. Interestingly, in Newcastle and Liverpool (both very high in the shit finger indices) men had dirtier hands than women. But in Cardiff, Birmingham and London it was the women who rated worst. Either way, think twice before tucking into your Pret club on the bus.